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Real Talk: The Cost of College

Writer's picture: Jared & JenJared & Jen

You're sitting there staring at the screen, heart sinking as you plug numbers into yet another college's net price calculator. The results feel impossible to reconcile with your hopes for your child's future. Your teenager is upstairs right now, scrolling through Instagram photos of this same college's beautiful campus, falling more in love with every swipe.


This moment – this gap between dreams and dollars – might be the hardest part of the college search. Harder than SAT prep. Harder than essay writing. Because this isn't just about money. It's about hopes, expectations, and conversations we're often not prepared to have.


Let's start with a truth that nobody talks about: those net price calculators? They're a starting point, not the final word. They don't capture the real cost of college life – the flights home for holidays, the laptop replacements, the hidden fees that show up on semester bills. They don't tell you about the meal plan that runs out too soon, or the textbooks that cost more than your monthly car payment.


But they also don't show you all the possibilities. They can't calculate the creative solutions families find, the merit scholarships at schools you haven't considered yet, the financial aid officers who become unexpected allies in making college possible.


Here's what I wish every family knew:


Your child needs to be part of this conversation early. Not to stress them out, but to help them understand the real choices ahead. They're old enough to understand that a $75,000 price tag means real trade-offs. They're capable of being part of a thoughtful discussion about what's possible and what's responsible.


Some conversation starters that work: "Let's look at these numbers together and understand what they mean for our family." "What matters most to you about college? Let's make sure we focus our resources there." "Here's what we can manage without taking on excessive debt. How can we work together to explore great options within this range?"


The numbers matter, but they're not the whole story. I've seen students thrive at colleges that weren't their dream schools but became the right financial choice. I've watched families get creative – combining community college and transfer plans, exploring tuition reciprocity agreements, finding lesser-known colleges that offer generous merit aid.


What matters is having these conversations with honesty and hope. Yes, show your teenager the real numbers. But also show them how to problem-solve. How to be resourceful. How to find joy and opportunity even when the path looks different than expected.


Because here's what I know after years of working with families: the kids who fare best aren't necessarily the ones who went to the most expensive colleges. They're the ones who went to colleges their families could afford. Who graduated without crushing debt. Who had parents brave enough to have hard conversations early.


Your teenager doesn't need a blank check to have an amazing college experience. They need your honesty, your support, and your help thinking creatively about possibilities. They need to understand that sometimes love means saying "let's find another way" instead of "we'll figure out how to pay for it."


So take a deep breath. Close that net price calculator for a moment. Then call your teenager downstairs and start the real conversation – not just about costs, but about values, priorities, and what matters most for your family's future.


Because the best college choice isn't about finding a way to pay any price. It's about finding the right fit – financially, academically, and personally. That's a conversation worth having, even when it's hard.


Especially when it's hard.

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