"Well-rounded" has become a curse in college admissions. It's the invisible pressure pushing students to join one more club, add one more activity, take on one more leadership role. It's the voice whispering "not enough" even as schedules burst at the seams.
We've created a culture where "well-rounded" has become code for "does everything." Where students believe they need to be good at everything to be good enough at anything. Where depth is sacrificed on the altar of breadth.
But here's what sixteen years in college counseling has taught me: The most compelling students aren't well-rounded. They're beautifully lopsided.
They're the ones who spent four years getting really good at one thing. Who dove deep into their passions instead of spreading themselves thin. Who maybe only did one or two activities outside of academics, but did them with such intensity and joy that they transformed themselves in the process.
And let's talk about what we're really sacrificing in the pursuit of well-roundedness. I see students surviving on five hours of sleep, chugging energy drinks to make it through debate practice after orchestra after student council. They're missing family dinners, canceling plans with friends, pushing their bodies and minds to the breaking point – all in service of this myth that more is always better.
What message are we sending when we prioritize activities over rest? When we celebrate exhaustion as a badge of honor? When we teach our teens that their worth is measured by the length of their resume rather than the depth of their engagement?
Part of our job – as educators, as counselors, as parents – is to teach students about balance and priorities. About the wisdom of saying no. About the importance of having time to just be a teenager. To laugh with friends. To go for ice cream after the game. To have an impromptu movie night without worrying about the next day's packed schedule.
Because here's the truth: Colleges don't need more well-rounded students. They need students who will bring their unique shapes to campus. Who will contribute something specific and meaningful to the community. Who know who they are and what they love.
Your child doesn't need to be everything. They need to be themselves - fully, deeply, authentically themselves. And they need to be well-rested, well-supported, and well-loved along the way.
So maybe it's time to stop asking "Is it enough?" and start asking "Is it right for them?" To trust that depth matters more than breadth. To let them be gloriously, powerfully lopsided. To make space in their lives for joy, for rest, for the unscheduled moments where real growth often happens.
Because the world doesn't need more well-rounded students. It needs students who know what they love and aren't afraid to pursue it. Who understand that success isn't about doing everything, but about doing the right things well. Who know that sometimes, the most important activity they can put on their schedule is simply time to be.
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